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"A few simple mathematical calculations reveal that if reference librarians were paid at market rates for all the roles they play, they would have salaries well over $200,000." --Will Manley - ("The Truth About Reference Librarians, MxcFarland, 1996, p. 20) Almost everyone on earth who speaks geek these days is making a decent living. Hallelujah! There is finally a demand for those of us who spend our days cataloging cyberspace, those of us who mine and post and flame and surf. Most professions, from the zoologic to the agrarian, have finally joined librarians online, digitally savvy at last. Amen, sisters! So lets talk about librarians for a second. We've been online for years. We speak geek, along with AARC2 and OCLC But a public librarian in the US in 1998 made an average salary of $35,000, while some school librarians averaged $22,000 per year. In 1990, the average librarian made $25,306 per year. In 1998, the same librarian made $31,915. 1. Want to look at some average salary numbers for yourself? 2. Roll the dice: (These numbers may surprise you) Professional librarianship requires a Masters degree from an ALA-accredited university, in addition to specialized training specific to each type of library/collection, along with all of the high-tech skills drawing big bucks out in The Real World. What's wrong with this picture? Isn't it time to finally speak up? We are geeks, too. Show us the money.

So what does a librarian do if she can't live on $22K per year?
Take a look at a basic librarian job description
Email: bikechic@waymark.net
I am the very model of computerized Librarian,
I seek out information zoologic to agrarian,
I know each subject that is found in an encyclopedia
I handle every AV tool and every type of media;
My online databases can locate each journal article,
In physics texts, I can define each elemental particle,
In atlases and online maps, I find the way to Timbuktu,
Identify each capital from Bogota to Katmandu.
I navigate the Internet with speed and perspicacity;
Evaluate each website for its content and veracity:
In fact, in finding information, most utilitarian,
I am the very model of computerized librarian.
I quickly search the Internet or grab the right book off the shelf;
Then give the patron answers or I teach him how to search himself,
I speed through every database like Galenet, FirstSearch, Dialog,
My records are all organized, just try my on-line catalog;
My homepage is a marvel of well-documented, helpful links,
It points to sites on modern jazz, hang-gliding and old Egypt’s Sphinx!
I know just how to catalog in Dewey and in L. of C.,
I know the best books you should buy and those you wouldn’t want for free.

I get you quotes on hot new stocks and find addresses in a trice,
The latest news, a star’s birthday, song lyrics or a cure for lice:
In fact, in finding information, most utilitarian,
I am the very model of computerized librarian.
When I can look up online all ephemeral material,
When I can get full text of every page in every serial,
When my computer translates every language and each dialect,
From Hindu texts in Sanskrit to Confucius with each analect,
When every book is digitized and indexed in my database,
When I’m the first librarian to travel into outer space -
And when I’ve indexed every site on every chromosome and gene,
You’ll say a more computerized librarian has never been.
I’m working on an interface directly to the human mind,
So I can capture concepts that have not yet even been defined
In fact, in finding information, most utilitarian,
I am the very model of computerized librarian.
Lyrics by Diane M. O’Keefe, M.S.L.S. and Janet T. O’Keefe, , M.L.S.

Based on the song "I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Pirates of Penzance.

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